Women's Day Jokes

Mothers

I did something really special for my mum on Mother’s Day.
I opened the door for her when she put my laundry in the washing machine.

It isn’t easy being a mother.
If it were, fathers would do it.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Laura.
All your girlfriends are divorced already
and you are not even married!

He’s very good to his mother. He never goes home

Love

I believe in love at first sight.
It saves such a lot of time.

Love is the feeling that you feel
when you feel you’re going to feel a feeling that you never felt before.

Marriage

Her husband is not exactly homeless-
but he’s home less than most husbands.

In many Eastern countries a woman never sees her husband before marriage.
In many Western countries, she doesn’t see him much afterwards.

Wife : Derek Jones next door blows his wife a kiss every morning as he leaves the house. I wish you’d do that.
Husband : But I hardly know the woman!

Women

When I’m good
I’m very good,
But when I’m bad
I’m better

I’m glad my wife’s become a feminist.
Now she complains about all men - not just me.

God made man.
Then he stepped back, looked and said,
"I can do better than that!"

Women will never be successful as men
because they have no wives to advise them.

Woman : How strange. You look like my fourth husband.
Man : My God! How many have you had?
Woman : Three!

Dating

I’m sorry but I can’t go out with you on Saturday.
I’m expecting a headache.

I’ve got bad luck in relationships.
Every time I meet a nice girl, either she’s married or I am.

Girl : I said some foolish things to you last night.
Boy : Yes.
Girl : And that was one of them.

- I was planning to marry her, but her family objected.
- Her family?
- Yes, her husband and four kids.

- I went out with a pair of twins last night.
- Did you have a good time?
- Yes and no.

- Who was that lady I seen you with last night
You mean "I saw"”
Sorry, who was that eyesore
I seen you with last night.